Top 5 fashion Rules

I read an article on Thought Catalog the other day, called the 5 Fashion Rules You'll Ever Need to Know. While I thought some of them were accurate, most weren't super applicable to me, and it got me thinking about what I would consider my top 5 fashion rules!
So here goes:

Number 1: Fit Over Fashion
A flattering fit always reins supreme over a fashionable item. I went into a Target the other day and tried on maybe 5 pairs of the same bright teal skinny jeans in various sizes. Each one of them fit wrong in some area and just generally whaled me out. So guess what? Even though colored jeans are the 'trend' and I reallyreallyreally wanted them, I put them back! The most fashionable trend in the world will still look horrendous on you if the fit is wrong. This is a big one for me, because for yeeaarrs I would ignore this rule and feel uncomfortable and waste tons of money on things I would only wear once.

Number 2: Trend Within Reason
This is along the same lines. Trends are fun. Trust me, I've been through my fair share of them. Some of them stick, like fitted jeans, polka dots, flats. I chose to follow these because I feel they are flattering on my body type, not just to fit in! But the highwaisted denim shorts, crop tops, and religiously satirical jewelry trends are just not for me and that's okay :) Find what you like the best and carve out your own style instead of being pulled every which way by the current trends and pinterest boards! 

Number 3: Recycle and Restyle
This is probably the rule I follow the very least. I love getting new things and amping up my wardrobe when it's financially viable, but something I've noticed a lot of bloggers do that I really admire is to recycle and restyle staple pieces to get new, interesting, and affordable outfits! By just putting in a little bit more effort and creativity, you can save some cash, and still feel fresh and great every day. A fantastic post on this is this one by Delightfully Tacky. She's just the best at layering, pattern mixing, and wardrobe remixing! (Plus she's beautiful, sweet, and hers was very first blog I ever began following!)

Number 4: Know thyself.
The biggest rule I follow on a day to day basis, is just to be myself. I know what I like, what looks good on my body type, and what image I want to portray when I get dressed in the morning. Knowing who you are and what you want to exude is a pretty huge part of your personal style and one that I think gets overlooked too often. If that hi-low dress in navajo print is just not you, then guess what? You don't have to wear it. You don't have to try to make it work with your style if it just doesn't fit! I'm all about expanding and trying new things, but if you try them and just get a wonky vibe about it, or feel you aren't being true to yourself when you're wearing it, then do yourself and your personal identity a favor and put it back on the rack!

Personally, I like clothing with a little edge, a little weird, and a little retro. Combine those and I'm in heaven. Sweet dresses, leather jackets, bright clogs, statement jewelry. I'm not a huge fan of clothing that's too clingy, too bright, or too trendy.

But at the end of the day, clothing ain't no thang, it's the smile and heart behind it that matters and that's the most important 'rule' to remember. We're people, beautiful people, and all deserve equal respect no matter our appearance.

Have a beautiful day.

All the best,

Grace Elizabeth.

#realtalk

So this is a post that I've been both wanting to write and 'taking out the trash after a week' dreaded. So I'm just gonna spill it out and tell you how I honestly feel on this subject and if you get angry or hurt or disagree, feel free to leave it all it the comments.

Plus, here's a new picture of our faces :)

This is the subject of my long standing blogger torment: boys.

Though I would love to have met Calvin while we were infants, and adorable cuddled best friend loved him into adulthood and marriage- this was sadly not the case. I didn't meet Calvin until I had been through some hardships. First world hardships of course, like not getting asked to a dance, and cheated on, and maybe even arrested? (another story for another time). But at the time they were HUGE deals to me and I feel like they impact me a lot to this day so I wanted to share them and get everything all out there because I want this to be a place of honesty and camaraderie and you can't do that when you're only showing the shiny glossy outsides.

I also want to preface all of this by saying this is my personal opinion on a very personal subject, an opinion which would surely differ from person to person, relationship to relationship. Everyone is different. But this is the advice I would give my kids, and it's been advice I've thought I had to share for a while, so here goes. 

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Don't date whishy-washy, confused people.


Whishy-Washy adjective
1.lacking in decisiveness; without strength or character; irresolute.

For me, this more specifically meant Christian Musicians. I found that they are very conflicted in nature. Musicians generally want the spotlight- crave the adoration of their words or notes falling on appreciating ears. Christians, by nature, should want to shine the spotlight on a higher source. Combine the two, throw in teenaged hormones and you can have a very emotionally volatile mix. In my experience, they will be a heated frustrated mass of ego and good intentions and sin and self hatred and disappointment and inspiration. And they will (unintentionally) try their hardest to take you down with them. Confusion and frustration are contagious, especially when the heart is concerned. They are usually hopeless romantics and will try so hard to promise you the world, but at the end of the day they are more important to them than you are. Their career and their reputation and in the end, their happiness. (It may be very different for people of this title at different ages, but I am referencing only people of my general age- the 17-25 group, I would say).


If you do find yourself in the position of falling over this boy (or girl), be careful. And if you find yourself in the position of already loving this person and being loved in return and not having any of the aforementioned problems, tell me to shove it. Because you might totally be the kind of woman (or man) who can deal with this. You may be strong and confident and have you almost all the way figured out and if that's the case, you can just let my words float right away. But I wasn't that girl, at that age. I was kind of a wreck. My head and heart was a knotted mess of hope and rebellion. It ached for approval and commitment. It ached for a rock to stand on, even though it had one all along. I was search search searching for a way to be desirable when I was loved beyond measure from the beginning. And I had to be straight up devastated before understanding that.

So my advice is, if you are a girl who wants to be adored, who isn't particularly confident or masterfully skilled, who is awkward in social surroundings, unsure at best, self loathing at worst- do NOT date this type. Don't. Just save yourself the heartache. It took me yeeeeaaarrrs of frustration during what should have been a really fun and memorable time in my life to figure this out but I am so glad I did. I found a best friend in Calvin that I never knew was possible. The best kind of best friend ^_^ And I'm never looking back.

But if you are that girl and are already hopelessly in like over a boy who doesn't give your feelings the time of day- that boy whose words and actions never match up but you're so sure he has a good heart and doesn't mean it when he rips yours to pieces, do yourself a favor- forget about him. You are helping no one by putting yourself in harm's way. That is the biggest piece of advice that I wish someone would have given me (not that I would have listened heh). I always thought I was helping, that I would be the one to solve everyone's pain and hold their broken hearts together, but I finally realized that that wasn't healthy and that it wasn't possible, either. That in the end it would just exhaust me and tear down my spirit. Instead, focus on you and strengthening the good relationships you have going already. Strengthen your hobbies and interests- work on making your heart full and strong until a boy who will treasure it comes along. Because trust me, he will. (And it'll be no fun dealing with all of your emotional baggage from those mistakes once he does.)


So if you're a boy who is stringing along a girl for any reason- so as not to hurt her feelings, to satiate your ego, or to have a 'safety net' girl to fall back on, you are making a terrible freaking mistake. That girl is daughter to a King and she deserves to be honored as one. So, there's my spiel. Hope it wasn't too offending. But if it is, this is my blog, to be filled with my thoughts- not just pretty pictures :)


I hope you have a lovely day. And I genuinely hope you write me if you feel you have something to say on this subject. We're here to talk to each other, after all.


All the Best,
Grace Elizabeth.

Quieting the unrequited.

This past week, I started maintaining my Daily Booth account again, in an effort to get to know people more. That sounds a little sad when read aloud lol, but with classes being out, and my old friends spread across the country now, the only people I really interact with anymore are my immediate family and co workers. As wonderful as they all are, I get a little antsy mentally and I love to talk to new people and get a different view of things. I got into a conversation with a young girl about liking a boy who doesn't like you back and, seeing as (before my wonderful relationship now) I've had experience in that area, I tried to give her some advice. I know a few people who would do good to hear this as well, so I thought I'd post what was said, and maybe my old heart ache can be put to good use finally.

The conversation will be interspersed with some quote images I found this week, and adore. All found here.

Girl:

I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back. This feels good. FML.

Me:

I've been there! I'm sorry, I know it's rough. What made everything better for me, was instead of obsessing over every little comment and conversation and look exchanged, I took a deep breath, reminded myself I was desirable and had a life outside of him, and then I moved towns haha. Found a boy who loved me from a distance for years, and now we're married :) life gets better, great even. Good luck!

Girl: You're inspirational. I'm so happy for you - just saw your wedding photos, you and your husband look absolutely gorgeous! It's so hard cause I've been here before, I don't want to go through the same pain as I did first time around.

Me: Aw that's so sweet of you! :)) Honestly, I went though some crazy heartbreak before now, and it never gets easier. Please please save yourself the pain, and know when to get out. If he's with someone else or just a bad guy in general, try to realize it before it's too late and your heart gets muddy and tired and hurt again, okay? :) Because you never know, your future husband may be admiring you from a distance <3

Girl: So what do you suggest I set my focus on?

Me: What helped me a ton was to focus on making myself better. Whatever makes you feel like a beast, tattoos or writing or making things with your hands. Something that sets you apart from the crowd and makes you feel good and worthy. Worshipping God. Charity work or something easy, like learning. Make yourself feel utterly desirable. I feel like the biggest problem with loving a boy who is not yours, is an issue of confidence. Why doesn't he like me, or why is he with her instead of me, or why is he such a player and won't just date me, etc. Remind yourself how desirable you are, and the confidence will come, along with the clarity to see that you deserve someone to chase you. You deserve someone who would do anything just to hold your hand, not kiss you in the dark and deny it in the light. Does that all make sense?

Girl: Yes it does. Wow you're actually so great to talk to about these things. You know all the right things to say to boost someone's self esteem. Thank you so much x

Me: Great :) Thank you. I didn't listen to a single person who tried to give me any advice and I wound up really hurt. I also ended up much stronger though, strength I wouldn't give back for the world. So it's your choice. I hope you have a lovely day :)

A few days later, that same girl posted a new picture, this one smiling, and said this:

"Thanks to Grace, I am feeling much better about the situation. I've decided to put my focus elsewhere and try to move on with things. Sh*t happens, you just have to deal with it and move on. <3"

Me: You're gonna do wonderful.

<3

(P.S. Almost 2000 blog views today! Ahhh :D Thank you everyone for the views! Keep spreading the word and maybe someday we'll have a big grown-up blog with giveaways and sponsorships and everything! :P)